Ah, yes. The infamous New Year’s resolution. We all make a big deal about resolutions, but when it comes down to it, they’re often not much more than a to-do list on steroids for the first two weeks of January. Lucky for you, I’ve compiled a guide to REALISTIC New Year’s Resolution Ideas that you’ll actually WANT to keep this year.
New Year’s Resolutions
Hooray! You survived another year! And after staying up into the wee hours of the morning partying the night away (JK, you went to bed at 10:00 p.m. after one glass of wine because hangovers try to kill you now), you’ve woken up shouting to your cat and the heavens, “New Year, New Me!”
You’re ready to hit the ground running while making ALL THE GOALS! Unlike previous years, this year is YOUR YEAR, BABY. And yes, you said that last year and the year before that, but this year will be different! You’re sure of it!
This is finally the year you’re going to follow through with everything. In a month’s time, you’ll be a resolutions master balancing your monthly budget while eating a salad on the treadmill all while transitioning your household to paper-free products because deforestation ain’t gonna fix itself!
Oh, my sweet summer child. You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! While the two most famous are getting involved in a land war in Asia and going in against a Sicilian when death is on the line, coming in a close 3rd place is making unrealistic New Year’s goals that you’re never going to keep.
Making Realistic New Year’s Resolutions
I feel like oftentimes we’re quick to make resolutions that are “typical” or “cliché.” Exercise and traveling more are big ones, saving money and eating lame food come to mind, and stopping that bad habit of shopping online when you’re drunk and/or hungover needs to end (I told you those hangovers are gonna get ‘cha!).
Now don’t get me wrong, these are all admirable goals to make, but some are way too broad, others are far too involved, and a few are downright bo-ring.
And to top it off, many of these New Year’s resolution ideas are not realistic for those of us who are wearing a thousand hats and simply trying to get through the daily grind (except that online shopping habit; you really gotta get on top of that).
How to Make Realistic New Year’s Resolutions
Instead of making the same resolutions year after year, it’s time to make some good resolutions for once. Here’s how to do it:
Limit Yourself to Three Resolutions
I’m gonna put it blunt. You need to cool your jets here, Skippy. Now, I know you’re excited it’s a new year, and you’re hopped up on Christmas fruitcake, eggnog, and all those sugar cookies that were too deformed to leave out for Santa so you took it upon yourself to eat them all in a 3-hour Hallmark Christmas movie binge, but you need to rein yourself in a bit here.
You don’t need to make ALL the resolutions. Stick with the top three that will give you the most bang for your buck for improving your awesome self this year.
Keep it Simple
This could honestly be the most important consideration when making resolutions. Before making a goal, take a realistic look at your life and consider if your resolution is too complicated. Because chances are you’ll be in the middle of a workout you promised yourself you’d do, and multiple small humans start swarming you demanding sustenance and affection. We all know how this scenario ends, so for the best results, shoot for the moon instead of Mars.
Oh, and let me remind you that keeping resolutions simple isn’t being lazy, it’s being resourceful! While other folks will have quit their resolutions after the first two weeks because they’re too complicated, you’ll be speed walking past them in your 90’s fuchsia velour tracksuit like the goal-setting champ you are!
Make FUN Resolutions
Does your resolution make you want to kick a baby seal? Because if it does, you need to change your focus, my friend. They’re like the Labrador puppies of the sea that could probably put up quite a fight. And no one wants to get bitch slapped by a sea puppy.
So yeah, it’s not like reaching a goal is going to make you jump up and down with unadulterated glee every day, but it should be fun and make you want to [insert favorite corny dance move here] around the house for a little while.
Once you have these things in mind, you’re ready to set yourself some realistic resolutions. If you’re not sure what those resolutions should be, keep on scrolling for some top-notch New Year’s resolution ideas.
New Year’s Resolution Ideas
Now that we’ve taken time to brainstorm and ponder on what we want to get out of our New Year’s resolutions, let’s get to the ideas, shall we? As promised, these are totally realistic, a tiny bit ridiculous, and 110% fun.
1. Lose the Hate
While many folks are planning to lose the weight this year, I guarantee you’ll get much more bang for your buck if you lose the HATE instead. Sure, you could jump on the weight loss bandwagon again this year, but instead, let’s focus on better self-love. Do you know how awesome you are, HumanBeingReadingThisBlog?
You are the shiznit who is adulting, growing, and playing the game of Life every day! (I mean this in a figurative sense, but those of you literally playing the Game of Life everyday are totally welcome to join in here as well, though maybe we should circle back on this obsession with a board game at a later date).
So how about making a goal to find ways to appreciate yourself and your body instead of finding ways to tear it down, mmmkay?
How to Lose the Hate
Here are some suggestions to try each day during the year to lose the hate:
- Positive self-affirmations. Start your day by looking in the mirror and repeating some awesome affirmations. My personal favorites are “I see pride!” “I see power!” and “I see a badass mother who don’t take no crap off of nobody!” AGAIN! Try these and other positive self-talk each morning, and I dare you to not feel like a badass mother (or father or person) for the remainder of the day.
- Features not flaws. Diet culture and the beauty industry have conditioned us to look at our differences and see them as flaws. No, no, HumanBeingOrBotReadingThisBlog! These are those amazing little nuggets that make you special! Those stretch marks? Try beauty marks as literal proof you’ve figuratively grown! One eyebrow that sits higher than the other (compliments of yours truly)? Hello Resting Inquisitive Face (RIF™)! Spend this year seeing your “flaws” as features that make you unique and amazing.
2. Save More Funny
Instead of saving more money, I encourage you to save more FUNNY. Now, in previous years, I’ve jumped on the resolutions train to save more money during the year. And while it’s an admirable goal, without any concrete, step-by-step tasks to complete, that money mysteriously disappeared throughout the year and transformed itself into boxes on my front porch filled with random items like a Bob Ross Chia Pet (I regret nothing).
So instead of making a goal to save more money, how about making a resolution to save more funny? Basically, this goal is about finding the joy in life.
Find ways to be happier during the day. They can be as ridiculous as you want and come in any shape or size. Maybe saving more funny means you collect memes that make you laugh and forward them blissfully on to innocent friends. Maybe instead of memes, you spend your time collecting friends who make you smile and don’t judge you for making an impulse buy on a Bob Ross Chia Pet.
Save those memes, GIFS, jokes, people, and quirky knick knacks throughout the year and watch your joy (and Bob Ross’s plant hair) grow exponentially.
(And you thought I was lying about the Bob Ross Chia Pet)
3. Learn a New Thrill
This next resolution is based on the goal to “learn a new skill.” For those of you who are wanting to learn how to doodle, crochet, or play a musical instrument this year, might I recommend this highly attainable alternative instead?
This resolution is simple: do something every week that thrills you. At some point throughout your week, do something totally ridiculous, exciting, scary, or outrageous. There are no rules here, and in most circumstances no one will be around to judge you and your thrilling self.
Here’s some suggestions on how to learn a new thrill this year:
- Speak only in rhymes at dinner. This is truly a winner!
- Write a note with your non-dominant hand and leave it in your neighbor’s mailbox. The more abstract the message, the better.
- Put on a ridiculous accessory or costume to pick your kids up from school. Fun AND will help your children spot you in a crowd — simply tell them to look for the large flamingo hat!
The world is your oyster and you are only slightly allergic to shellfish. Get out there and have some fun!
4. Energize More
“Exercise more” is a BIG resolution folks make year after year. And while you may be kicking butt getting yourself to the gym or in front of a Tae Bo workout video (people still do Tae Bo, right? Guys? Right?), unfortunately, this goal is often abandoned after a few weeks when life sneaks up behind you and karate chops your legs while you’re trying to do burpees.
So instead of making a goal to exercise more, I have a much more attainable alternative: Energize more! Basically, focus on ways to help you gain more energy throughout the day instead of spending the next hour searching for your leg warmers because if they’re good enough for Cindy, they’re good enough for you!
Turn your focus to being more active every day. Go on a quick walk, do a 15-minute at-home yoga video, take a break from work in all its forms to have a kitchen dance party.
And by all means, strap on that glorious wedgie-making leotard and hit the gym. If it gets you energized, then resolution accomplished!
5. Get Mobilized
Last up in our list of New Year’s resolution ideas is to get mobilized. Unlike that super popular resolution to “get organized,” all this resolution requires is for you to DO.
And it doesn’t matter what you do, just DO SOMETHING. And celebrate the small victories that you accomplish. If you have time to do a complete Marie Kondo on your house, great! If you manage to weed out your sock drawer, SWEETSAUCE!
Life doesn’t always allow us ample time to make every square inch of our house look like no one lives there. Did you do a thing that can be classified as productive? Bam. Goal met. Participation trophy for you, CapableAdultReadingThisBlog!
Questions to Ask Before Making a Resolution
Before you commit these resolutions to paper (or phone, or social media, or wherever you choose to certify these goals), take a moment to ask the following questions. Give them the ol’ Bachelor treatment and allow yourself a good 5 minutes to weed out the drunk ones that are only here to get attention before you give them the final rose.
- Is this resolution a hot yes instead of a hot mess? Basically, will it make you hella fly when you commit to it?
- Is this resolution a perfect match or is it the “fan favorite?” AKA is this the “typical,” unattainable goal everyone else is making?
- Will I have to dump this resolution after two weeks because it is too needy? Don’t waste your time on a resolution that will suck up all your time and energy.
- Is this resolution memorable, or does it get lost in the shuffle during the group date? If you’re not excited about your resolution, don’t bother.
If you can answer all of these questions with an end of Breakfast Club Bender fist-pump, a Kip Dynamite “Yessssss,” or a Nacho Libre “It’s the besssssst,” then you’re on track for making some kick-butt resolutions, my friend! I’m proud of you!
Good New Year’s Resolution Ideas
So, let’s rewind and review all the nugs from this post, shall we? Resolutions kinda suck and are difficult to maintain. Thanks to my 5 realistic New Year’s resolution ideas, you can sit pretty knowing you’ll finish this next year crossing all your goals off your list.
Need help getting through the daily grind? Bring Wit On is full of all sorts of goodies to help you master this “life” thing. Consider me your fairy life mother! Check out our blogroll or follow the awesomeness over on Facebook, and I’ll help you feed picky eaters (PB&J for everyone!), speed up cleaning your house (no one’s looking in the basement anyway!), and find happiness in your life (it’s spelled W-I-N-E). At Bring Wit On, we put the “fun” in “functional!”
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